Baking, Working and Tying the Knot

I haven't updated in a long time and a lot has happened.

Let's start with baking. Last time I posted about cookies I was coming to the conclusion that everyone has their own idea of a perfect chocolate chip cookie. Some like them thin and crispy, some like thick and chewy and others puffy and cakey. So I have been researching and baking... a lot. And there are a few things that everyone needs to know that will make their cookies, whatever the style, better than the others.




Tip #1: Use real ingredients. Cookies are not diet food. And although I can and have tried healthy versions of a lot of things that are not diet food, it just isn't worth it with cookies. Use real, unsalted butter. Fresh eggs. Real vanilla. This is the only way.

Tip #2: Use high quality ingredients. Sure cookies made with cheap ingredients taste good, because the chocolate chip cookie is pretty much tasty in any form. But to make the cookie truly great and over the top use high quality chocolate, european butter, good flour, good sugar. It gets expensive. Trust me I know.

Tip #3: Let the dough rest. Not just overnight. But for a good 48 hours at least. 72 hours is best. I know this is difficult to do. Patience is a virtue right? With cookies it really is. I tried this not too long ago and right out of the oven I really didn't see a difference and I was a little disappointed. But once the cookies cooled a little I got it. It gives them a more complex flavor. You will see.

Tip #4: Make large cookies. Use at least a 1/4 of a cup, but preferably 1/3 cup of dough. This allows the cookies to cook more evenly. Plus nobody wants a bite size chocolate chip cookie. I know I don't.

Tip #5: Double the vanilla. I sometimes even triple it. 1 tsp is never enough.

In regards to cookie preferences, here are a few other tips.

If you like texture: Add toasted nuts and ground up oatmeal. My aunt Doreen turned me on to the oatmeal. You put in a blender and grind it into a powder. I have played around with different amounts. I like a lot because I am a texture-aholic. But this gives the cookies lots of chew and texture and with the nuts, heaven.

If you like a nuttier, richer flavor: Brown the butter and use dark brown sugar.

If you like cakey cookies: Double the baking powder and substitute 1/2 of the flour for cake flour. However, cake flour weighs less than all purpose flour. So you have to add 2 tbsp of cake flour for every 1 cup of all purpose you substitute. (1 cup all purpose flour = 1 cup + 2 tbsp cake flour)

If you like flat cookies: Let the dough come to room temperature before baking.

If you like chewy cookies: Increase the brown to white sugar ratio to at least 1/2 brown to 1/2 white

If you like crispy cookies: Make sure you bake for the full time and that the white sugar ratio is more than brown sugar.

Happy Baking!



Now onto the job situation. I have been endlessly looking for work. Sadly the music therapy market is not great right now. Funds are being cut in a lot of facilities and guess what gets cut first... Awesome.

I interviewed for 2 jobs. 1 at a school district where I was up against 100 other applicants. Bet you can guess I didn't get that job :) The other was for a neuro rehab hospital for a temporary position replacing a recreation therapist. They ended up hiring a rec therapist, BUT they have asked me to come in a do a few contract hours.

So after these disappointments I decided I needed to break out my marketing skills. Thankfully the amazing Alicia Clair (professor of music therapy at KU) had us learn how to market ourselves and music therapy. I kinda hated it at the time, but it has been so helpful. I put together some marketing packages and started sending them out to facilities that do not currently have music therapists. This process has definitely been a learning experience. I have found out that even if you clearly explain music therapy and provide tons of information, you will still get phone calls saying "We would like to schedule you for a PERFORMANCE." And I just have to keep telling myself, "Don't get annoyed, just educate. That is all you can do."

But to wrap this rambling up, I have a few contracts set up and I was just offered a pretty large one! BUT the best news is that on Monday I am going to a skilled nursing facility to speak to their administrator about starting a full program at their facility! I am a little anxious about that, but if all else fails I will have enough contracts to get me by. Which means, in just a few short weeks I will be a working Music Therapist!!!



Tying the Knot
As most of you probably know, Chris and I are going to tie the knot! We have not set a for sure date yet, but we are pretty sure it will be in September 2011. We will keep everyone updated as we know more for sure information. We are very happy and excited for this new chapter in our lives.

New Experiences

I recently made a personal goal for myself that each week I am going to do something that I have never done before. It doesn't matter what it is really. Big or small. I just want to have a new experience each week. It is so easy to get caught up in the comfortable monotony of things that are familiar and I don't want to do that. This was my first week since I made this decision and I did not 1 but 3 things that I have never done before. Busy week.

New Experience #1: Presenting at a Conference
On Friday, my supervisor and I gave a music therapy presentation at a recreation therapy symposium. This happened to be my mid-term project. I put together the presentation and the handouts and my supervisor and I presented it together. The conference was small and pretty laid back but it was still a first and a pretty big accomplishment I think. The presentation went really well and I got a lot of positive feedback.


New Experience #2: Eeyore"s Birthday Party
As I'm sure many of you know Austin has a motto that you see on bumper stickers, t-shirts and signs all over the city: "Keep Austin Weird." Well, a yearly tradition celebrating the Winnie the Pooh character Eeyore's Birthday is clearly an example of this. Apparently there is a story in Winnie the Pooh when Eeyore thinks everyone has forgotten his birthday however they throw him a surprise birthday party. This huge celebration has been a tradition since the 60's and involves a lot of... let's just say weirdness for lack of a better word.








New Experience #3: Kayaking
One of the coolest things about Austin is that there are a lot of outdoorsy things you can do right in the middle of the city. This morning my aunt and I got up early and rented Kayaks. The spring and river that you can go on is completely calm, it's not like white water rafting or anything, but still pretty cool. You can go right by downtown. Then we went and had bloody marys after kayaking. Great Sunday morning.

Faux Pho

(This post is overdue, thus two posts in one day)

I have been really in the mood to cook lately. I'm thinking that it may have to do with me feeling stressed about the unknown of where I will be when my internship ends. There is something about chopping, stirring and creating something delicious that is so therapeutic.

One thing that I have been thinking about learning how to make is Pho Vietnamese noodle soup. It is so comforting and delicious. So I've been reading about it and boy is it a process. I sort of expected so. But when I say that it is a process, I mean an all day over the stove type thing. That kind of cooking is not so therapeutic to me, so I figured out a way to make a really good faux version. The other night I tried it out and it was a success!!



Kristin's Vietnamese Meal: Spring Rolls w/Peanut Sauce and Faux Pho

Peanut Sauce
1/3 Cup Creamy Peanut Butter
1/4 Cup Soy Sauce
2 Tbsp Rice Wine Vinegar
2 Tbsp Brown Sugar
1/2 Tsp Chili Oil

Combine in a sauce pan, heat until simmering. Make a slurry (flour and water mixture) and add a tsp at a time until the desired thickness.

For Broth
32 oz Beef Broth
1 package Pho Spices
1 White or Yellow Onion
3'' Piece of Ginger

For authentic pho, leg and knuckle bones are boiled to make a homemade broth. I decided to use beef broth for the closest tasting fake version. Chicken or vegetable stock would be alright as well. There are also a number of spices that you need to boil in the broth. Luckily there is an awesome asian market near by and they sell these spice packets with everything you need. I assume that most asian markets have something similar. This makes things a lot cheaper so you don't have to buy everything separate.



Pictured you can see that the spice packs come with cinnamon, cardamon, star anise, coriander, cloves, fennel and a mesh bag to put the spices in.

Pour spice packet in a dry pan and slightly toast over low heat to bring out their aroma. Once cooled put into the spice bag. Slice ginger and onion in half and put under the broiler for 5-7 minutes until charred. Put all ingredients in a large stock pot. Simmer for 30 minutes. Strain broth.



For Soup
8 oz. linguine-style rice noodles
8 oz. medium-soft tofu, cut into small cubes or thin slices

Cook noodles according to package instructions. Once cooled rinse them under cold water and divide between 4 bowls.

For Table Salad
Fresh Cilantro, Basil and/or Mint
Bean Sprouts
Jalapeno Slices
Lime Wedges
Hoisin Sauce
Sriracha Sauce

Arrange table salad ingredients on a large platter and set in the middle of the table along with sauces.



To serve, top the noodles with tofu. Ladle the bubbling broth into the bowls. Season your bowl to your liking with the table salad and sauces.

Kelsey's Coconut Mocha Blended Coffee

Blended coffee drinks are one of my major weaknesses. There are two Starbucks within walking distance from my work and some days I am very tempted to go get a sugary, caffeine fix that is too much money and too many calories. However, my awesome sister taught me how to make blended coffee drinks that taste better than Starbucks and are much better for you. This drink is so delicious and I take it to work in the morning when I know it is going to be "one of those days."

Kelsey's Coconut Mocha (slightly modified)
1 Cup Almond Milk
2 Tbsp Sugar Free Chocolate Syrup
1/4 Tsp Coconut Extract
1 Tsp Instant Coffee
1 Tbsp Splenda
1 Cup Ice


Put all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Enjoy!

Cal: 65; Fat: 0... AMAZING

In Search of the ULTIMATE CC Cookie

So I haven't done very many updates about work lately. Honestly, it's because I'm in that mid-internship funk and I am more than ready to be done. It's not that I don't think there is still more to learn. I learn something new everyday. But 5 1/2 years of school and a 6 month internship seems like forever!!

And you know actually my beliefs about music therapy have changed a lot. It was sort of banged into our heads in school that Music-As-Therapy (the music experience as the main therapeutic aspect) was pretty much the only way to go as a music therapist and Music-In-Therapy (with more talking and processing of the music experience) should be rarely if not ever used. I understand the reasoning behind this. We want to be a credible profession so if we use only Music-As-Therapy we are doing something no other professional could do and also we can get more concrete data from our patients. But in a psychiatric setting this really doesn't make much sense, because outcomes are not so tangible. Patients need understanding of their disease, understanding of healthy coping skills and wellness skills and this cannot really totally be achieved with just Music-As-Therapy. I struggled with this in the beginning but I have come to realize that in this setting I have to change my thinking. The music interventions in themselves are therapeutic with the patients, but in this setting I have come to realize that if I do not process what we just did, draw parallels to life, discuss, and use other therapeutic techniques then I am not being the best therapist I can be.

Anyway, I'm rambling. On to the subject of cookies.


I have recently started a quest to find the ultimate chocolate chip cookie recipe. Of all things baked, chocolate chip cookies are probably my favorite. So I have been reading recipe after recipe of those that claim to be the best. One thing I am realizing is that most are really not that different. They all pretty much start out with the same base recipe and then proportions are changed a little or unique techniques such as browning the butter, shredding the butter or adding yeast are used giving each person their claim to the best chocolate chip cookie recipe. And you know where that base recipe comes from?... Nestle Toll House.
I think that Nestle Toll House cookies were actually the first thing I baked by myself. I was in my first apartment and I think I thought that baking was a grown up thing to do so I got a package of chocolate chips and followed the recipe on the back. The recipe is darn good too. I have used it many times.

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels

PREHEAT oven to 375° F.
COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels and nuts. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets. BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. .
This recipe makes a crispy cookie on the outside and a little chewy on the inside. It stays a little flatter than I like but I have found that if you chill the dough and cook them on foil the cookies stay a bit thicker.

This week I tried two different cc cookie recipes that claimed to be the best. The first batch I took to work and the second are in the oven at the moment.

Attempt #1: cookies that are slightly thick and chewy. A few too many chocolate chips for me and not really anything special. I made a change of using browned butter instead of softened. This added a slightly caramel flavor which was good. Original recipe from Debbie Borsick on allrecipes.com. As you can see, the recipe is exactly the same with addition of vanilla pudding mix. Overall I thought that Nestle's were just as good.




Attempt #2: cookies in the recipe were advertised as thick and chewy. They did turn out chewy but not so much thick. I did think that the flavor was better than the first but not extraoridinarily. The original recipe calls for European butter and you are supposed to shred it instead of letting it soften. I did shred it, but I did not splurge on the European butter. Maybe this is what makes it so over the top because as you can see, this recipe is also VERY similar to Nestle's. I made sure to weigh the flour because 3 cups sounded like a lot and doubled the vanilla to give it more flavor. The dough was awesome before baked, but after cooking they were good but nothing really special. Recipe is from VanillaSugar food blog



So the quest continues. All 3 recipes are good, really good. But I am still holding onto hope that their is something better. More over the top. Maybe I will try the 2nd attempt again with European butter. Maybe I will try to find a recipe that is more far away from the original of Toll House. But I think this may be a long journey of trial, error and probably too many cookies than I need to be tasting.

Lawrence Cravings and Suga' Pies

THE CRAVINGS
Since moving away from Lawrence I have missed some of the beloved town's staple restaurants. The two most missed being Pizza Shuttle and Free State Brewery. Pizza shuttle has held a special place in my heart for late night greasy food cravings when we've probably had a little too much to drink. What could be better than their hot perfectly baked pizza delivered to your door at 2 am? Free State Brewery also has a special place in my heart mostly for their amazing house made beer but also for their Cheddar Ale Soup! On rainy evenings, such as this one, I day dream about a comforting bowl of that soup.

All of this reminiscing about my beloved college town and the restaurants that are so far away could be somewhat depressing. HOWEVER I have had a chance to satisfy BOTH of these cravings in the last week. Both were indulgent, but every once in a while you need it. It all started last weekend when Chris and I met in Oklahoma City. This is the halfway point between Austin and Lawrence so the two of us decided to take a weekend trip. We both got in late Friday night and immediately went looking for a late night eatery (neither of us had eaten dinner.) As we drove around trying to find something better than McDonald's, a shiny sign caught Chris's eye... ... PIZZA SHUTTLE!!!

We were both a little confused. Isn't pizza shuttle a Lawrence and Manhattan original? How could this be? But honestly, I really didn't care so much about how or why there was a Pizza Shuttle in OKC, I cared only about devouring that delicious pizza that I crave so often. We stopped, ordered our pizzas and questioned the workers a bit about if they were related to the one in Kansas. Come to find out the Pizza Shuttle in Norman, OK is actually the original.This made me a bit sad because I always thought Lawrence had something truly unique and original. The person who opened the ones in Kansas started at the in Norman and then modeled his off of their business. The two are not affiliated with each other. But the good news... Pizza Shuttle in Kansas is far superior to that of it's original. What I had surely satisfied my craving, but the Lawrence folks sure do it better!


Now on to Free State. Chris made me aware a few days ago of an article posted in the Lawrence journal world giving the recipe to their infamous Cheddar Ale Soup. I instantly knew exactly what I was going to be making for our upcoming potluck at work. After reading the recipe I was not surprised as to why the soup is so amazing. It contains all things that are bad for you but taste sooo good. Butter, Cream Cheese, Cheddar, Heavy Cream, Beer... need I say more? Yes, I should give you the recipe.

Free State Brewing Company Cheddar Ale Soup
3 tablespoons salted butter
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup minced yellow onion
1/4 cup small diced red bell pepper
1/4 cup small diced green bell pepper
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup Free State Ad Astra ale (I used New Castle, because sadly you can only get Free State beer in Lawrence)
3 ounces cream cheese
3 cups cream
2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1 teaspoon hot sauce
Fresh parsley and thyme to taste
6 ounces grated Alma white or yellow cheddar cheese

In 1 tablespoon butter, cook onion, peppers and garlic until onion is transparent. Add remaining butter and flour, stir well and cook mixture on medium-low heat for 5 minutes, stirring often. Add beer in small increments, mixing smooth after each addition. Cut cream cheese into smaller chunks and add to mixture. Mash and stir cream cheese until it is completely melted into mixture. Gradually add cream to mixture, mixing smooth after each addition. You may want to use a whisk at this point. Add seasonings, stir and heat to 160 degrees, being careful not to heat beyond this temperature. Add cheese in three increments stirring smooth with a whisk after each addition. If cheese is not melting after 30 seconds, check temperature and add heat if necessary. If soup is thin, add more cheese. If soup is thick, add milk. Serves 6-8.

Needless to say, everyone at work loved it and there was not a drop left over. Are you really surprised? I'm not. And my craving is satisfied for the time being.



THE PIE
Last, but certainly not least I want to talk about my lovely sister for a moment. A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of visiting her in LA and we had a really great time. During the trip we spent a lot of time talking about our love for food and cooking and baking and we fantasized about opening restaurants or catering companies or baking businesses. Well for her, this dream has come true and I couldn't be happier for her. In the course of 2 weeks she has come up with a business idea, put it into action and gained a ton of support!

Her business: SUGA' PIES She has taken what she learned from our grandmother and her love for baking and turned it into a homemade pie business complete with to your door delivery and unique versions of pie called Lolli-pies.
Congratulations Kelsey on following your dream and sharing the love through pie!

To know more about SUGA' PIES visit www.sugapies.com and check out the article about her on an awesome LA food blog www.fdinla.blogspot.com

Easter Carrot Cookies with Orange Glaze

If you are from the midwest you are probably very familiar with Carrot cookies with Orange glaze. If you are not, you probably have never heard of them but you definitely need to try them! Some form of this recipe has always been around my family and friend's holiday parties. And it seems that carrot cookies are fitting for the Easter holiday, so I made some for work and my family with colored frosting to make them more festive. This time I made them vegan because I took them to work and I want everyone to be able to enjoy them. You can easily change up the recipe to use eggs and butter if you like. Enjoy!

Easter Carrot Cookies with Orange Glaze

1 Cup Vegetable Shortening

2 Tbsp Water (These two ingredients can be substituted with 1 cup Butter)

1/2 Cup Sugar

1/2 Cup Packed Brown Sugar

1/4 Applesauce (can be substituted for 1 egg)

3 Tbsp Orange Juice

1 Tbsp Orange Zest

2 Cups All-Purpose Flour

3/4 Tsp Baking Soda

1/2 Tsp Salt

1/4 Tsp Cinnamon

1 Cup Shredded Carrots

Orange Glaze

2 Cups Powdered Sugar

1 Tbsp Orange Zest

2 to 3 Tbsp Orange Juice

Heat oven to 350F. Combine shortening, water, sugar and brown sugar in a large bowl. Beat at medium speed until creamy. Add applesauce, orange juice and orange zest. Continue beating until well combined. In small bowl combine flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. With mixer on low speed, add flour mixture in small batches to large bowl until well mixed. Stir in carrots.

Use a melon baller or teaspoon and drop dough rounded onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes until golden brown. Cool completely.

Combine powdered sugar and orange zest in small bowl. Beat at low speed adding enough orange juice for desired consistency. Frost cooled cookies. If desired, make glaze in smaller batches and add 2 drops of food coloring for make pastel colored gaze for Easter!

Cinnamon Roll in a Pancake? Yes Please!

In case you haven't been reading my previous food posts, the idea behind most of them is to find healthier alternatives to making unhealthy dishes. Well this morning I made an amazing discovery. You see, it's a pancake with a syrup that tastes like cinnamon rolls and its low calorie and low fat!! AMAZING.

The problems I have been having in my eating healthy habits have a bit to do with my lack of control when I am with my boyfriend. When we are apart I eat pretty well, but when we are together it is very difficult. He loves sweets and meats... and honestly, so do I. This makes it very difficult to stay away from the bad stuff when we are together. So this morning I was determined to make a breakfast that would satisfy his sweet tooth but also meet my criteria for an at least semi-healthy start to the day.

I researched some weight watcher recipes for pancakes and found one that had rave reviews. I also researched homemade syrup recipes (because I didn't have any) and tweaked one a little to make it more healthy. The results, really delicious pancakes with a syrup that tastes like cinnamon rolls! I couldn't believe it. I have never had pancakes that tasted so good.

Cinnamon Roll Syrup

1/4 Cup Low Fat Margarine (My favorite is Brummel & Brown made with Natural Yogurt. It has the best buttery flavor)

1/2 Cup Light Brown Sugar

1/2 Cup Skim Milk, Soured (mix in 1/2 tbsp of lemon juice or vinegar and let sit for 5 min. This is a replacement for buttermilk)

1/2 Tbsp Vanilla

1/4 Tsp Cinnamon

1/2 Tbsp Light Corn Syrup

1/4 Tsp Baking Soda

Combine margarine, brown sugar, skim milk, vanilla, cinnamon and corn syrup in a large sauce pan. Bring to a simmer. Once simmering mix in baking soda, and cook for 10 seconds. Remove from heat.

(Adapted from Melissa at Allrecipes.com)

*Note: Make the syrup before the pancakes and let it cool slightly so it will get a little thicker. This syrup does not get thick like a regular syrup but that allows for easier spreading on the pancakes and use of less syrup. Also, the baking soda will make the syrup foam up. The foaming will go away once syrup cools slightly.

Serving Size 2 tbsp (Makes 8 servings): Cal 55; Fat 2

Weight Watcher Pancakes

3/4 Cup Whole Wheat Flour

1/3 Cup Unsweetened Applesauce

1/2 Tbsp Baking Soda

1/2 Cup Skim Milk, Soured

1/4 Cup Eggbeaters or 1 Egg White

1/2 Tbsp Cinnamon

1 1/2 Tsp Splenda

Mix all ingredients in large bowl until smooth. (Batter will be thicker than a normal pancake batter) Heat large non-stick skillet and spray with cooking spray. Drop 1/4 cup of batter into skillet and spread out. Let cook like a regular pancake.

(Adapted from Justcallmetoni from recipezaar.com)

Makes 6 pancakes. Per Pancake: Cal: 65; Fat: 0

Ready for... Love, Soup, and Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Banana Bread!!

Ready for Love

I'm home sick with a cold so I thought I would do a long overdue post.

I am now getting to do a lot of music therapy on my own at work. So far I have 3 main areas of focus. To start I have been co-treating with the physical therapist. We see patients 1:1 and I never know who we're going to see. I have figured out that as long as I have an auto harp and a hand drum I can play music to compliment the physical therapist. This has been challenging for me to think on the spot to be therapeutically effective, but I am loving that challenge. Like I spoke about in previous posts I am working on the forensic unit doing groups and 1:1. And my new area of focus is with the adolescent girls. I had no idea that I was going to enjoy working with this population so much. I really didn't think that I was good with kids at all, but with the adolescents I am loving it.

Last week I did a song writing workshop with them and I was so pleasantly surprised at how they embraced it and wrote some amazing lyrics. I don't know if you have ever heard of the song "Ready for Love" by India Arie. I have used it in the past for different things. Its a good lyric analysis and conversation starter for each person to express what they are ready for.

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me?
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respects the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready

I started with the song in the original form, sang it and then we discussed it. I tried to get them thinking outside of the box about love. We discussed love within ourselves by accepting who we are. I then got them thinking about what they were ready for and gave them fill in the blank lyric sheets with the original song as a template for them to personalize it. Some of the things that were written were: "I am ready for freedom," "I'm ready for a second change," and "I'm ready for a new life." After each of them filled their song I gave them each the opportunity to perform it in any way they wanted; Singing, speaking, rapping. And all 8 girls did it!! I was so impressed with them and I could tell that they were all so proud of themselves for accomplishing something like writing their own song. I'm excited to work with them more.

Ready for Soup...?

Since I haven't updated in so long, I have 2 recipes for you. Last month I tried a soup at a restaurant that was a roasted cauliflower soup and it was so delicious I couldn't quit thinking about it. So I did some research and came up with this recipe to fulfill my cravings. This soup is soo creamy and rich you would think that cream and butter were a main ingredient. But there is not even a drop of either!!

Roasted Cauliflower Soup

1 Head Cauliflower (cut in small florets)

2 Small Turnips (quartered)

1 Small Yellow Onion (cut in large pieces)

2 Small potatoes (cut in half)

4 Garlic Cloves (smashed)

Olive Oil

Salt & Pepper

1 Cup Vegetable Stock

Preheat oven to 425F. Place vegetables on baking sheet in single layer. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast for 30 minutes or until browned. Place vegetables in a large pot or blender. Add 1 cup of vegetable stock and puree with an emersion blender or in the blender.

Ready for Peanut Butter, Chocolate Chip Banana Bread...? Yes please!

This recipe is a little bit indulgent, but I have taken some measures to cut the fat and calories out of what could be incredibly bad for you by using applesauce and more banana in place of butter and eggs! This means that this recipe is also vegan because the chocolate chips are dark chocolate and therefore have no animal products in them!

Peanut Butter, Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

1 cup All-Purpose Flour

3/4 tsp Baking Powder

1/2 tsp Baking Soda

1/4 tsp Salt

1 tsp Cinnamon

2 Ripe Bananas (mashed)

1/4 cup Reduced Fat Peanut Butter

1/4 cup Sugar

1/4 cup Brown Sugar

1 tsp Vanilla

1/4 cup Apple Sauce (unsweetened)

1/4 cup Skim Milk

1/4 cup + 1 tbsp Mini Dark Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven to 350F. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in a medium bowl. In a large mixing bowl combine banana, peanut butter, sugar, brown sugar, applesauce and vanilla. Beat with mixer for about 2 minutes. Slowly beat in the flour mixture until combined. Stir in milk and 1/4 cup chocolate chips. Pour into 2 greased mini loaf pans or into 1 large loaf pan. Bake for 40-50 minutes. Sprinkle with the remaining tbsp of chocolate chips and bake for 5 more minutes.

Warning!! This can be kind of addicting.

Cilantro Inspired Dinner

Cilantro is one of my favorite herbs to have on hand, however when I buy it at the store it is almost impossible to use it all before it goes bad. (I guess I need to start growing an herb garden.) I had a lot of cilantro left over from making pad thai, so yesterday I was determined to use it all up and I made a delicious and nutritious cilantro filled dinner.

Appetizer: Faux Guacamole

I read a recipe a while ago about making a hummus type dip but using edamame and tofu in place of the chickpeas. I thought that sounded really delicious and have thought about how you could do so many variations. I decided to make a faux guacamole type dip with this base recipe. I know avacados are good for you, however they are so high in fat. This faux guacamole is filled with soy(edamame and tofu), cilantro, and garlic and is so delicious you won't miss the real thing!

Ingredients:

2 Cups Shelled Edamame

1 Cup Silken Tofu

2-4 Garlic Cloves (roughly chopped)

5 Green Onions (roughly chopped)

1/2 Cup Cilantro

Juice from 1-2 Limes

1 tbsp Olive Oil

1/2 tsp Chili Garlic Sauce

Prepare edamame according to package instructions (boil 5 min). Combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor. Begin blending until the consistency of guacamole or hummus. Add a few tbsp of water if necessary to achieve the right consistency. Serve with veggies, or chips for dipping!

Makes 12 1/4 cup servings

Cal: 58; Fat: 3g; Carb: 3g; Fiber: 2g; Prot: 4g

Main Course: Cilantro Lime Grilled Chicken Breast

Ingredients:

4- 4oz Pieces of Chicken Breast

2 tbsp Olive Oil

Juice from 2 limes

Large handful of Cilantro

2 Cloves Garlic

Combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor. Blend well adding a few tbsp of water if needed. Pour mixture over chicken breast and marinade for 2 hrs. Grill chicken 3-4 min on each side.

(This marinade keeps the chicken juicy and infuses so much flavor!)

Side Dish: Tomato, Garlic and Onion Stuffed Peppers

I have no idea how this idea came to me, but I'm glad it did. These stuffed pepper sides are filled with flavor, and can be dressed like a baked potato without all of the carbs!

Ingredients:

2 Bell Peppers (any color)

1/2 Small Onion (any color)

3 Roma Tomatoes

2-3 Garlic Cloves (thinly sliced)

1 tbsp Olive Oil

Black Pepper

Reduced fat cheese

For Garnish: Light Sour cream, faux guacamole, cilantro, chives or green onion

Preheat oven to 375. Cut bell peppers in half lengthwise. Remove the seeds, but keep the stem (because it looks pretty:)

Stuff each pepper with slices of onion, tomato, and garlic. Drizzle olive oil over the peppers and grind some black pepper over each.

Roast peppers for 30 minutes. Top each pepper with a little bit of reduced fat cheese and continue roasting until the cheese is melted. Garnish as desired with light sour cream, cilantro, green onion and faux guacamole.

These were literally melt in your mouth good!

*This entire dinner was around 350 calories, 8 fat grams, 20 grams of carbs, and 8 grams of fiber!

Healing Today, Hope for Tomorrow

The past 2 days I have had to attend another training at work. Although I was upset that I had to sit through MORE training, I actually got some interesting things out of it. The training was called "Healing Today, Hope for Tomorrow." The focus is on reducing the number of restraints and seclusions used in psychiatric hospitals. ASH has come a long way in regards to this issue. It was mandated 2 years ago that patients were to no longer be forced into seclusions. And in regards to restraints, they are only used if a patient is harming themselves, others, or in immediate danger of these two things. The restraint techniques we are trained in are designed to only use a physical restraint after all other options are exausted and if done properly should not hurt the patient.

I personally have not had to perform a restraint yet on a patient, but I know that they are necessary in some cases. For instances, we there are certain patients that will unexpectedly begin hurting themselves. In these cases of violent self harm there is really no other way around it. However, I know that restraints are frequently used because a situation gets out of hand that could have easily been deescalated with some therapeutic redirection, listening, and talking. Diana Kern is an amazing lady who has a mental illness and who has started an advocacy program called "Expect Recovery." She frequently comes to the hospital and talks about her experiences with hospitalization and this is something she wrote about the benefits and necessity of restraint when used properly and only when needed.

Safety in Restraints

Diana Kern
April 2009

"Memories of my time spent in restraints in mental hospitals were not available to me for several years after my psychotic episodes. If I was fully present when I was “taken down”, I would have sunk to a level of insanity where I would have existed forever.

The peaceful Spirit in Diana had withdrawn from her truth and made way for a terror that was too painful to feel. The fault line had been drawn and I was sucked into the safety of the center of the earth where God starts.

When the noises and voices inside and outside of my head were deafening, I had no choice but to brutally bang my head to release the pain.

I was so lost in my brain and lost in the voices that teased me, I was unaware of my behavior. What was the hospital staff supposed to do? Ignore me? Walk past me while I banged my head on the tile floor? Walk past me when I scratched and cut and even burned my face and body?

They had no choice but to hold onto me and if that didn’t work, their only choice was to tie me down.

I know that there are only a few of us who have told our story—the raw truth of our story. For over a year, I have questioned why I write about it and why I talk about my restraint experiences.

The answer: I must write myself through my experiences.

However, it is much easier to write about my restraint (and seclusion) experiences than it is to talk out loud about it.

The answer as to why I even broach this subject is because I have learned it is my mission (one of them) to help others who are going through the uncontrollable symptoms as I went through in years past. I want their trauma to be healed. Helping others with a mental illness is an important part of my recovery.

It has taken years for me to reach a place of peace with my past. It has been a journey that I would soon rather forget, yet my past comes up through the work that I do to help others with mental illness, that is, a serious mental illness.

I am writing this today because I took Chester, my beautiful 105 lb. dog, to visit the patients. We visited the specialty services unit. Inside the unit, there were several persons in restraints in wheelchairs. And while it might look cruel and inhumane, these people need protection from themselves.

While we were there visiting the patients, I was fine. It made me feel so good that I was able to be there to share Chester with them. The cool part about Chester is that he is over 2 feet tall and people in wheelchairs (like the geriatric patients) don’t have to bend down to pet him. He is right there on their level!

Looking back to my time spent in mental hospitals, I know that it would have helped me, when I was in a restraint chair, to pet and love a dog. I know it would have calmed me down, especially since medications didn’t work back then.

When I got in my car to leave the hospital, I fell apart. I just begged God to explain to me why these patients are suffering. My compassion and understanding were so palpable that I imagined others could feel my heart pounding just as I did.

And what I realized today was that my restraint story has to be told; written so others can understand the ravages of the most serious of mental illnesses and break open this great secret that only a few know. It’s my way of mandating compassion; my contribution to share not only my truth, but the truth of a group who are mysteriously hidden and looked down upon.

We hear stories all the time about the treatment of people in third world countries; the suffering that millions go through for years or even their whole lives. But do we ever hear about a person in a mental hospital who is suffering no less than those in Iraq or Uganda? We don’t.

Another important topic that I want to share with the unknowing is this:

This is not just the patient’s story. It is also the story of mental health employees and their dedication to help people recover; to continue to offer hope in the midst of despair; to explore the possibilities of faith (faith being an active word for hope).

This is where “partnership” comes in. “Partnering Together to Find Solutions toward Wellness”.

Mental Health employees go to their jobs 10, 20, 40 hours a week to help save the lives of people who MUST live in a locked ward. Each day that they go to work, they have the keys to walk out into the free world. They know that some of their patients might never have the key to leave. And they know many patients will be back in the hospital because they did not get the services that they needed on the outside. Yet, these employees continue to work knowing all of this and they do it for very little money.

Now that I have recovered to this level of wellness and hope, I am enlightened by the power of the human spirit and the courage of those who want to help.

I have told several of the employees that I have gotten to know in the last year that when I go to ASH, I feel like I am with family. Imagine me driving up to the unit where I will speak to the patients about my recovery and when I arrive late, an employee whom I have gotten to know, is waving his arms glad that I am there! That’s family!

AND, imagine driving into the grounds of a mental hospital, of all places, and feeling free and safe! This is the kind of staff that ASH has. They deserve to be recognized and to show others that success is not all about money. It’s about living your purpose. It’s about doing the right thing.

Here’s the real truth of my story: are those of us with mental illness different than anyone else? No, we are not. Look at me. I am living proof that I am like you and at the same time, I am like them and like the me that I used to be.

I am one of the fortunate ones: I have been able to walk across the bridge of illness into wellness; to walk out of the support of a mental hospital (with the key) and into the support of family and friends and, of course, dogs.

Not very many people get to experience what I have.

With all that said, you may ask, “Why the title, Safety in Restraints?

If the hospital employees do their job and do it right, with debriefing as part of the protocol, a person who must be put in restraints as a last resort, will find safety as I did.

In the last 15 years, I have learned to keep myself safe by using healthy methods of self-care. Now I am able to share my experiences with staff and patients alike."

First Food Blog Post: Pad Thai.... Sort of

I have fantasized for a long time about having my own food blog. However, at this point in my life I don't have enough time, energy or money to cook enough for a whole blog. So I thought I would combine my internship blog with a few food entries when time allows.

Recently I have been a little obsessed with finding healthier alternatives to some of my favorite unhealthy dishes. My main goal has been to make dishes that are normally filled with calories and fat in a more healthy version that still tastes delicious. My first endeavor, SUCCESS!

One of my favorite dishes to both cook at home and to order out is Pad Thai. However, a serving of Chicken or Tofu Pad Thai can have anywhere from 500-700 calories, 20 grams of fat and over 60 grams of carbs. The high numbers in these nutrition facts are due to the amount of oil used to stir fry everything, the type of noodles used, the eggs, and the sugar content in the sauce. However, I have figured out a way to make a pad thai inspired stir fry with all of the same flavors and half the calories!!

Ingredients:

8oz Tofu Shirataki Noodles

4oz Boneless Skinless Chkn Breast

1/2 cup Egg Beaters

2 Garlic Cloves (minced)

1 tbsp Canola Oil

Green Bell Pepper

Red Bell Pepper

Diced Green Onion

Soy Sauce

2 tbsp Pad Thai Sauce

1 tsp Chili Garlic Sauce

Juice of Half a lime

For Garnish:

Cilantro

Lime Slices

Diced Green Onion

Chopped Peanuts (optional)

*(Before I begin I want to preface by saying that I know some of these ingredients are not traditionally in Pad Thai. Soy sauce and bell peppers are not normally used, but they work for this healthier version and it is just as delicious.)

I would like to start with the best discovery ever for pasta lovers: TOFU SHIRATAKI NOODLES! They are made with only two ingredients: tofu and water. I know this could sound a bit strange, but trust me its not. They work really well in asian dishes (I have yet to try them in italian dishes, but I have heard mixed reviews about that). They come packaged in a liquid in 8oz bags. And the best news.... There is only 40 calories and virtually no carbs in the entire package!!!

They are normally located in the refrigerator section next to the tofu. I buy the spaghetti or angel hair kind. I don't think that the fettucini kinds has as good of a texture. To prepare the noodles drain the liquid and rinse them. The liquid has a slight odor that is a bit fishy, but from someone who hates the smell of seafood it is very slight. Boil the noodles for about 2 minutes and drain. They are already cooked but boiling them gets rid of any of the smell from the liquid completely.

Next, prep all of your ingredients. Do not start cooking until everything is ready to go because once you start stir frying it goes really fast. Chop your peppers, onion, garlic, chicken, limes and cilantro. For the sauce I use a pre-made sauce and add a few things. Yes, making your own pad thai sauce would be better, but it is time consuming. I take 2 tbsp of the sauce and add 1 tsp of chili garlic sauce, the juice of half a lime and some cilantro to make it a little more tangy and spicy.

Now it is time to start stir frying! Part of the reason that pad thai has so much fat normally is the amount of oil used during cooking. So when you start to cook hold off on the oil for the first two steps.

Season your chicken with pepper and soy sauce. Heat a few tbsp of water in the wok and begin cooking your chicken. Push the chicken to the side of the wok and add another tbsp or two of water and begin cooking the egg beaters, scrambling them. Push the eggs to the side.

Now you can add the oil! Once the oil is hot, sauté the the garlic and peppers just for about 2 minutes.

Add the sauce and mix all of the ingredients in the wok. Add the noodles and stir fry with rest of the ingredients. Add the green onion and mix.

Garnish with cilantro, fresh green onion, a lime slice and ENJOY.

Recipe makes 2 servings. Cal: 250; Fat: 9 grams; Carb: 20 grams; Fiber: 6 grams