Cilantro Inspired Dinner

Cilantro is one of my favorite herbs to have on hand, however when I buy it at the store it is almost impossible to use it all before it goes bad. (I guess I need to start growing an herb garden.) I had a lot of cilantro left over from making pad thai, so yesterday I was determined to use it all up and I made a delicious and nutritious cilantro filled dinner.

Appetizer: Faux Guacamole

I read a recipe a while ago about making a hummus type dip but using edamame and tofu in place of the chickpeas. I thought that sounded really delicious and have thought about how you could do so many variations. I decided to make a faux guacamole type dip with this base recipe. I know avacados are good for you, however they are so high in fat. This faux guacamole is filled with soy(edamame and tofu), cilantro, and garlic and is so delicious you won't miss the real thing!

Ingredients:

2 Cups Shelled Edamame

1 Cup Silken Tofu

2-4 Garlic Cloves (roughly chopped)

5 Green Onions (roughly chopped)

1/2 Cup Cilantro

Juice from 1-2 Limes

1 tbsp Olive Oil

1/2 tsp Chili Garlic Sauce

Prepare edamame according to package instructions (boil 5 min). Combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor. Begin blending until the consistency of guacamole or hummus. Add a few tbsp of water if necessary to achieve the right consistency. Serve with veggies, or chips for dipping!

Makes 12 1/4 cup servings

Cal: 58; Fat: 3g; Carb: 3g; Fiber: 2g; Prot: 4g

Main Course: Cilantro Lime Grilled Chicken Breast

Ingredients:

4- 4oz Pieces of Chicken Breast

2 tbsp Olive Oil

Juice from 2 limes

Large handful of Cilantro

2 Cloves Garlic

Combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor. Blend well adding a few tbsp of water if needed. Pour mixture over chicken breast and marinade for 2 hrs. Grill chicken 3-4 min on each side.

(This marinade keeps the chicken juicy and infuses so much flavor!)

Side Dish: Tomato, Garlic and Onion Stuffed Peppers

I have no idea how this idea came to me, but I'm glad it did. These stuffed pepper sides are filled with flavor, and can be dressed like a baked potato without all of the carbs!

Ingredients:

2 Bell Peppers (any color)

1/2 Small Onion (any color)

3 Roma Tomatoes

2-3 Garlic Cloves (thinly sliced)

1 tbsp Olive Oil

Black Pepper

Reduced fat cheese

For Garnish: Light Sour cream, faux guacamole, cilantro, chives or green onion

Preheat oven to 375. Cut bell peppers in half lengthwise. Remove the seeds, but keep the stem (because it looks pretty:)

Stuff each pepper with slices of onion, tomato, and garlic. Drizzle olive oil over the peppers and grind some black pepper over each.

Roast peppers for 30 minutes. Top each pepper with a little bit of reduced fat cheese and continue roasting until the cheese is melted. Garnish as desired with light sour cream, cilantro, green onion and faux guacamole.

These were literally melt in your mouth good!

*This entire dinner was around 350 calories, 8 fat grams, 20 grams of carbs, and 8 grams of fiber!

Healing Today, Hope for Tomorrow

The past 2 days I have had to attend another training at work. Although I was upset that I had to sit through MORE training, I actually got some interesting things out of it. The training was called "Healing Today, Hope for Tomorrow." The focus is on reducing the number of restraints and seclusions used in psychiatric hospitals. ASH has come a long way in regards to this issue. It was mandated 2 years ago that patients were to no longer be forced into seclusions. And in regards to restraints, they are only used if a patient is harming themselves, others, or in immediate danger of these two things. The restraint techniques we are trained in are designed to only use a physical restraint after all other options are exausted and if done properly should not hurt the patient.

I personally have not had to perform a restraint yet on a patient, but I know that they are necessary in some cases. For instances, we there are certain patients that will unexpectedly begin hurting themselves. In these cases of violent self harm there is really no other way around it. However, I know that restraints are frequently used because a situation gets out of hand that could have easily been deescalated with some therapeutic redirection, listening, and talking. Diana Kern is an amazing lady who has a mental illness and who has started an advocacy program called "Expect Recovery." She frequently comes to the hospital and talks about her experiences with hospitalization and this is something she wrote about the benefits and necessity of restraint when used properly and only when needed.

Safety in Restraints

Diana Kern
April 2009

"Memories of my time spent in restraints in mental hospitals were not available to me for several years after my psychotic episodes. If I was fully present when I was “taken down”, I would have sunk to a level of insanity where I would have existed forever.

The peaceful Spirit in Diana had withdrawn from her truth and made way for a terror that was too painful to feel. The fault line had been drawn and I was sucked into the safety of the center of the earth where God starts.

When the noises and voices inside and outside of my head were deafening, I had no choice but to brutally bang my head to release the pain.

I was so lost in my brain and lost in the voices that teased me, I was unaware of my behavior. What was the hospital staff supposed to do? Ignore me? Walk past me while I banged my head on the tile floor? Walk past me when I scratched and cut and even burned my face and body?

They had no choice but to hold onto me and if that didn’t work, their only choice was to tie me down.

I know that there are only a few of us who have told our story—the raw truth of our story. For over a year, I have questioned why I write about it and why I talk about my restraint experiences.

The answer: I must write myself through my experiences.

However, it is much easier to write about my restraint (and seclusion) experiences than it is to talk out loud about it.

The answer as to why I even broach this subject is because I have learned it is my mission (one of them) to help others who are going through the uncontrollable symptoms as I went through in years past. I want their trauma to be healed. Helping others with a mental illness is an important part of my recovery.

It has taken years for me to reach a place of peace with my past. It has been a journey that I would soon rather forget, yet my past comes up through the work that I do to help others with mental illness, that is, a serious mental illness.

I am writing this today because I took Chester, my beautiful 105 lb. dog, to visit the patients. We visited the specialty services unit. Inside the unit, there were several persons in restraints in wheelchairs. And while it might look cruel and inhumane, these people need protection from themselves.

While we were there visiting the patients, I was fine. It made me feel so good that I was able to be there to share Chester with them. The cool part about Chester is that he is over 2 feet tall and people in wheelchairs (like the geriatric patients) don’t have to bend down to pet him. He is right there on their level!

Looking back to my time spent in mental hospitals, I know that it would have helped me, when I was in a restraint chair, to pet and love a dog. I know it would have calmed me down, especially since medications didn’t work back then.

When I got in my car to leave the hospital, I fell apart. I just begged God to explain to me why these patients are suffering. My compassion and understanding were so palpable that I imagined others could feel my heart pounding just as I did.

And what I realized today was that my restraint story has to be told; written so others can understand the ravages of the most serious of mental illnesses and break open this great secret that only a few know. It’s my way of mandating compassion; my contribution to share not only my truth, but the truth of a group who are mysteriously hidden and looked down upon.

We hear stories all the time about the treatment of people in third world countries; the suffering that millions go through for years or even their whole lives. But do we ever hear about a person in a mental hospital who is suffering no less than those in Iraq or Uganda? We don’t.

Another important topic that I want to share with the unknowing is this:

This is not just the patient’s story. It is also the story of mental health employees and their dedication to help people recover; to continue to offer hope in the midst of despair; to explore the possibilities of faith (faith being an active word for hope).

This is where “partnership” comes in. “Partnering Together to Find Solutions toward Wellness”.

Mental Health employees go to their jobs 10, 20, 40 hours a week to help save the lives of people who MUST live in a locked ward. Each day that they go to work, they have the keys to walk out into the free world. They know that some of their patients might never have the key to leave. And they know many patients will be back in the hospital because they did not get the services that they needed on the outside. Yet, these employees continue to work knowing all of this and they do it for very little money.

Now that I have recovered to this level of wellness and hope, I am enlightened by the power of the human spirit and the courage of those who want to help.

I have told several of the employees that I have gotten to know in the last year that when I go to ASH, I feel like I am with family. Imagine me driving up to the unit where I will speak to the patients about my recovery and when I arrive late, an employee whom I have gotten to know, is waving his arms glad that I am there! That’s family!

AND, imagine driving into the grounds of a mental hospital, of all places, and feeling free and safe! This is the kind of staff that ASH has. They deserve to be recognized and to show others that success is not all about money. It’s about living your purpose. It’s about doing the right thing.

Here’s the real truth of my story: are those of us with mental illness different than anyone else? No, we are not. Look at me. I am living proof that I am like you and at the same time, I am like them and like the me that I used to be.

I am one of the fortunate ones: I have been able to walk across the bridge of illness into wellness; to walk out of the support of a mental hospital (with the key) and into the support of family and friends and, of course, dogs.

Not very many people get to experience what I have.

With all that said, you may ask, “Why the title, Safety in Restraints?

If the hospital employees do their job and do it right, with debriefing as part of the protocol, a person who must be put in restraints as a last resort, will find safety as I did.

In the last 15 years, I have learned to keep myself safe by using healthy methods of self-care. Now I am able to share my experiences with staff and patients alike."

First Food Blog Post: Pad Thai.... Sort of

I have fantasized for a long time about having my own food blog. However, at this point in my life I don't have enough time, energy or money to cook enough for a whole blog. So I thought I would combine my internship blog with a few food entries when time allows.

Recently I have been a little obsessed with finding healthier alternatives to some of my favorite unhealthy dishes. My main goal has been to make dishes that are normally filled with calories and fat in a more healthy version that still tastes delicious. My first endeavor, SUCCESS!

One of my favorite dishes to both cook at home and to order out is Pad Thai. However, a serving of Chicken or Tofu Pad Thai can have anywhere from 500-700 calories, 20 grams of fat and over 60 grams of carbs. The high numbers in these nutrition facts are due to the amount of oil used to stir fry everything, the type of noodles used, the eggs, and the sugar content in the sauce. However, I have figured out a way to make a pad thai inspired stir fry with all of the same flavors and half the calories!!

Ingredients:

8oz Tofu Shirataki Noodles

4oz Boneless Skinless Chkn Breast

1/2 cup Egg Beaters

2 Garlic Cloves (minced)

1 tbsp Canola Oil

Green Bell Pepper

Red Bell Pepper

Diced Green Onion

Soy Sauce

2 tbsp Pad Thai Sauce

1 tsp Chili Garlic Sauce

Juice of Half a lime

For Garnish:

Cilantro

Lime Slices

Diced Green Onion

Chopped Peanuts (optional)

*(Before I begin I want to preface by saying that I know some of these ingredients are not traditionally in Pad Thai. Soy sauce and bell peppers are not normally used, but they work for this healthier version and it is just as delicious.)

I would like to start with the best discovery ever for pasta lovers: TOFU SHIRATAKI NOODLES! They are made with only two ingredients: tofu and water. I know this could sound a bit strange, but trust me its not. They work really well in asian dishes (I have yet to try them in italian dishes, but I have heard mixed reviews about that). They come packaged in a liquid in 8oz bags. And the best news.... There is only 40 calories and virtually no carbs in the entire package!!!

They are normally located in the refrigerator section next to the tofu. I buy the spaghetti or angel hair kind. I don't think that the fettucini kinds has as good of a texture. To prepare the noodles drain the liquid and rinse them. The liquid has a slight odor that is a bit fishy, but from someone who hates the smell of seafood it is very slight. Boil the noodles for about 2 minutes and drain. They are already cooked but boiling them gets rid of any of the smell from the liquid completely.

Next, prep all of your ingredients. Do not start cooking until everything is ready to go because once you start stir frying it goes really fast. Chop your peppers, onion, garlic, chicken, limes and cilantro. For the sauce I use a pre-made sauce and add a few things. Yes, making your own pad thai sauce would be better, but it is time consuming. I take 2 tbsp of the sauce and add 1 tsp of chili garlic sauce, the juice of half a lime and some cilantro to make it a little more tangy and spicy.

Now it is time to start stir frying! Part of the reason that pad thai has so much fat normally is the amount of oil used during cooking. So when you start to cook hold off on the oil for the first two steps.

Season your chicken with pepper and soy sauce. Heat a few tbsp of water in the wok and begin cooking your chicken. Push the chicken to the side of the wok and add another tbsp or two of water and begin cooking the egg beaters, scrambling them. Push the eggs to the side.

Now you can add the oil! Once the oil is hot, sauté the the garlic and peppers just for about 2 minutes.

Add the sauce and mix all of the ingredients in the wok. Add the noodles and stir fry with rest of the ingredients. Add the green onion and mix.

Garnish with cilantro, fresh green onion, a lime slice and ENJOY.

Recipe makes 2 servings. Cal: 250; Fat: 9 grams; Carb: 20 grams; Fiber: 6 grams

Beautiful Day to Blog Outside

Today it is 71 and sunny here in Austin so I am sitting out on the deck while I blog. It is lovely and I think that when I finish I will practice some guitar out here as well.

My internship is still going well. I am finally getting to do my own sessions with the patients at the hospital. I sort of thought that this would be anxiety provoking in the beginning but it has actually been a relief to finally get in there. I have led several groups so far and next week I am going to begin meeting 1:1 with two patients in the forensic unit. For those of you who may not know this means that these patients are charged with crimes but they also have psychiatric diagnoses and are not competent to stand trial. I am also going to begin doing some large groups in this unit because they get very few therapies right now.

I knew that working in a psychiatric hospital was going to be intense. The patients that we treat have severe psychiatric problems. However, I had no idea that nearly everyday I was going to encounter something that is traumatic or truly shocking. But I am dealing with it all as it comes one day at a time. And this whole experience is only allowing me to have more acceptance and tolerance for all kinds of people from every walk of life. And to be completely honest, working with some of the patients is very frustrating at times, but I truly do care for all of them and want to help them gain a better life. And I think the most frustrating part of it all is that deep down, I know that many of them will never get better. But we must keep trying.

I'm Official...

Well, orientation is finally over at ASH!!! I have a badge and a huge set of keys, so I guess I am officially a music therapy intern now! I thought in this post I would give some information about who the hospital serves and what exactly I am going to be doing.

The hospital is a state hospital which means that is serves those who cannot afford a private hospital or do not have the insurance to pay for it. We mainly serve those who are homeless, uninsured and/or in custody of the state. In order to meet the criteria for hospitalization the patient must be in immediate harm to themselves, to others or imminent danger of one of these two things. The majority of our patients were brought in by the police, however some are admitted by family members or self admitted.

The hospital is set up in 3 main groups. The CAPS (Children and Adolescent Psychiatric Services) ward serves children through age 18. These patients have either been admitted by their parents or are wards of the state. The APS (Adult Psychiatric Services) ward serves adults with psychiatric diagnoses, and forensic cases which are individuals who are incompetent to stand trial. These patients are mainly receiving acute services. The Specialty ward serves geriatric patients with mental illness, patients with chronic mental illness and those who have physical and intellectual disabilities. This ward is more long term.

I am a part of a department at the hospital called Education and Rehabilitation. This department consists of teachers, music therapists, art therapists, drama therapists, dance and movement therapists and recreation therapists. The department works to educate the patients about their illness, side effects of their medication, positive coping skills, wellness skills, and various other therapeutic aspects in order to work towards each person's recovery and prevention of relapse.

Right now I have just been observing all of the therapists and teachers. It is really awesome to see the different disciplines working together and to see each person's style in doing therapy. I have learned so much just from observing for a week. Soon I will get to do therapy on my own along with collaborating with the other therapists. I get to sort of pick where I would like to focus my attention. My director and I have decided that I am going focus on the forensic unit because that is what I am most interested in and they are lacking therapists there. I am also going to be doing some 1:1 sessions co-treating with the physical therapists. I will have other groups on the other units as well but this will be my main focus.

In other news, Chris is coming to see me this weekend and I am extremely excited!! The transition has been fairly smooth especially because I have such an awesome roommate. But it is hard to be away from the people you love and I am looking forward to a wonderful weekend!